I've decided I don't really care for them. The proverbial kind anyway.
I'm such a homeostasis kind of gal. I like the status quo. A couple Sundays ago, Lucas was preaching about olive trees. He had learned that when planted on flat ground, they actually don't do too well, as they vigorously grow their foliage. But planted on a slope (eg- the rocky hillsides in Israel), the trees are forced to root deeper to withstand conditions and bear more fruit with their labor.
I feel like God continues to force me to weather conditions from a more rocky hillside. 'Cuz I guarantee it, and am slightly ashamed to say so, but I do not usually go willingly. I'm more of the dig your heels into the ground and be dragged kind of gal.
Looking back, especially during those times I've striven to walk with Him, I've noticed He opens doors, while closes others. In many cases, I've not been too keen on the doors when He first opens them, but have noticed that the longer I stay away, the more desolate I feel, knowing that He wants more for me and I am not abiding in Him. And when I do walk through them, He is faithful.
He is always faithful.
And He provides.
For about the past five years, I've prayed that he would only open up one door for our future, making it clear where we were to settle post-fellowship. I didn't want any confusion where we would end up. And I was also sure that would be in Phoenix. The submissive wife that I am, I had always told Joel (and others) that I would follow him around for about 8 years of marriage, and then I was heading back to Arizona, with or without him. I had never wanted to leave and I had no intention on staying somewhere else. Snow and winters in the Midwest didn't really faze me because they were temporal.
There is a misconception out there that if you are a doctor, you can get a job anywhere. I would like to now debunk that theory. It is simply not true. Not in our case anyways. Nor does it seem to be the case with many of our friends in this current national medical climate. And it seems there are not really any jobs for him in the state of Arizona. Any doors that I rejoiced over when they were cracked open, always not only shut but then disappeared. I may have lamented to God (and others) that it was not kind to even have those doors reveal in the first place. One final door remains slightly cracked, for the Wal-Mart of orthopedic groups. It has it's positives and negatives, which I won't get into (because doesn't everyone and everything?!), but it seems like the more I stare at the door, the further away it gets.
Meanwhile, a couple opportunities have popped up in Indiana. In places I told Joel I would never live. Aack, how many times does God have to make me eat my words?? I've learned to stop saying never.
It doesn't look ideal. I have many qualms with both location and the position details, but it seems the more I pray, the more at peace I feel. Not happiness, but peace. Peace when I focus on Him, shutting out my wants, my desires, my emotions. Isolating out the me, and allowing Him to speak to me. Allowing me to place my hope in Him, not in opportunities.
It's kind of funny, because where we would end up was not even on the radar at that period of time. Joel would receive a contract for IU right before we would leave on vacation to be with his family. It shocked us, because they put a deadline on it, and the deadline was in a few weeks. We had thought we would have more time to pray about it. And he had still wanted to look. He had thought about Unity, the other local group in Lafayette (and one who he had mentioned to me since we were engaged as the type of practice he would want to work at someday, where they would have respect for him taking off for missions work), but hadn't even contacted them yet. He hadn't seen them on the job listing, but figured he might as well call, and see if they would be looking for someone. He figured if God didn't want us there, the door would not open.
They weren't necessarily, but spoke together at a board meeting, and a week before we headed off to Hawaii, he was headed out there for an interview.
Long story short, we had two contracts in Lafayette. Meanwhile, the possible place in Phoenix turned out to maybe not be in Phoenix (no guarantees), and with the wise direction and knowledge of people that knew the company, we could tell it would not be a good fit for our family, our goals, or our future at this time. And although I had opened up my mind and heart to living in Michigan, nothing opened there either.
And months later, it became official.
He has signed with Unity Healthcare/Lafayette Orthopaedic Clinic.
So come September 2014, fellowship will officially be done and we will be entering "the real world".
It still is a bit surreal. Although I do have peace about it, it does not mean that emotionally I am not still a bit unstable. I think this pregnancy has helped a bit, not only with the instability part, but occupying what little is left of my non-children focused mind. I am thankful that although I grieve that we will not be near my family, we are in close proximity to Joel's parents and in the same city as Paul and Miranda (we haven't yet told Liam, but I know he will only be talking about living next to Trae when we do, as he weekly mentioning how he misses seeing him).
Just thought we'd let you know. :)
In homeschooling, we recently finished learning about apples, and how if we stay in Jesus, we will bear fruit. It seems like for the past few weeks, I have been buying a couple 1/2 peck bags of apples at the grocery store as my children have been eating at least a couple a day.
Least they've stayed healthy ;)
We've also had fun making all kinds of apple things under the sun... apple butter, fresh applesauce (the lunchtime version, vs the mass victorian churned kind), apple cider caramels, healthy apple jello, apple doughnut muffins... and next up, Jamie's apple cake.
They've also been making crafts dealing with apples, and the other day they each (yes, even Callum joined in on the fun when I was helping the older two wash their hands) made an apple tree. Liam was supposed to share it with his friends. But he hasn't quite decided which friend to send it to, because he didn't want to disappoint the others, so I figured I'd cover his bases, by posting it here. :)
It went along with a poem...
In the Apple Tree
There's a little bird in the apple tree,
Chirping out his little song for you and me.
He's a happy bird, and I think he knows
That God is watching over him wherever he goes.
But that little bird isn't half so dear
As every little boy and girl that God put here
So as I watch the bird in the apple tree,
I know that God is watching over me.
-author unknown
I'm so thankful for this reminder. No matter where we go, where we live or what we are going through, God is always watching over us. We are so blessed.
