What do I do with this kid?!

I walked down the stairs.

Immediately, I caught a whiff of vanilla.

God is trying to teach me to look for the positive in these moments, so I thought to myself, "lovely scent..."

...Except I didn't have a candle burning, nor one of those scent diffusers running.


Today, it was a bottle of vanilla extract and a package of rice noodles scattered across 3 rooms of the house. Yesterday, it was the consumption of either sidewalk chalk and/or a bulk food store container of sprinkles (they were both blue and did a fair job of staining, so it's hard to know which it was).

Each day brings new adventures for him, and new messes, scares and grey hairs for me.


You see, a few days before Paul and Miranda came into town, Callum learned how to work round door knobs. And since then a flip has been switched on my child and he has become out. of. control. Well, I can control him when I'm around him... but it's when I'm not around him that disaster starts. Being in the last month of pregnancy doesn't help, but his curiosity has left me exhausted (and usually in need of cleaning, or too tired to blog at night after I finally get them all in bed)!

Here are some of his latest antics...

First, he learned how to master the trash can "step stool" in his Daddy's office to go after the way-cheap Costco alternative to samoas...

I was cleaning the bathroom... he decided to climb the Ikea bookcase to get to the bag balm at the top shelf (put there for precisely avoidance purposes)

Hi Mommy!

Oh, you mean this greasy mess?!

Do I even need to say why the water/ice dispenser has been Callum-proofed? 

Let's just say he would climb on the counter or raid the dishwasher for every cup he could encounter, fill it up, and pour it out (in his defense, he usually tries to clean it up, with either tongue, rug or kitchen dish towel-- which in itself is nerve-wracking, because it might be nicely hung up, but I never know where it's been!)... since I'm not always in the kitchen to combat him, I have officially made life miserable for the rest of the family, as the older two are no longer independent to get themselves water... :)

Thankfully, he hasn't learned how to turn on the razor, though he has it all plugged in and ready to give himself a good shave down...

Yes, when I came down the stairs and saw the screen door open, panicking, and rushing over, I caught him straddling the fence. Not wanting to seem freaked out that he would pitch over the other side, I stood "calmly" at the doorway and called for him to come back this way. Thankfully, I had a camera nearby to catalog the event, because I knew some of you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it.

The poor guy refuses to take naps in his crib, but is usually locked in the room until he falls asleep, or else no amount of punishment will keep him inside.

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw Liam's "reading" material at breakfast one morning.

Thankfully, when he went after the peanut butter, at least he had the decency to climb into his booster seat... yes, I had forgotten to take his bib off at lunch time that day... and yes, he can Houdini himself in and out without the tray being removed.

So the front face of the silverware drawer came off the other day. Joel took out the entire drawer to fix. So my pots/pans cupboard has now replaced the tupperware container cupboard as the place to hang out, put our dirty feet in, hide in and have fun! And it's an added bonus if you can get a brother to play with you in there as well!

Another shot of him trying to climb over the fence... to say hi to the neighbors a few doors down. He will run outdoors and says "hi" to anyone he sees (which when you live at the top of a slope, is quite a few people). And yes, he can open up the locked sliding door.

One morning last week I had the sudden (nesting) urge to get down on my hands and knees and scrub my kitchen floor. That afternoon, Callum had the sudden urge to ingest both monounsaturated and saturated fats... so why not go after the EVOO and grass-fed butter and have a meal of them both... not sure how much oil he consumed (and how much ended on my counter, the plate and the floor), but a good 1/4c butter was missing. ;)

... and this doesn't even include him trying to suck lotion out of a tube, throwing spilled rice all over the kitchen floor, trying to flush rolls of toilet paper down the toilet (or taking a cup/rag to scatter it's water across the bathroom floor), tossing whatever meets his fancy into the washing machine, emptying his dresser drawers or all the toy bins, ransacking his brothers' lego creations, coloring on desks, floors and paper alike, or throwing things down the stairs...

which is why I laughed the other night when this is what I came downstairs to find...

No, I don't have perfect kids. And I might not be able to even survive the ones I have (let alone the one that is due any time now)... but I'm still blessed. And trying to find the positive "scent" in each of these chaotic moments that they bring me!

And lest I scare anyone from coming and visiting us, he does have his down moments... he loves his Daddy and will literally wait on the stairs by the window for Joel to come home some evenings. A woman at Kroger gave him a helium mylar balloon the other morning- he literally played with it for hours, allowing me to be productive! He also loves being outdoors, playing ball, watching airplanes and birds fly by, neighbor-spying, pestering ants (his arms and hands are covered with welts from his days of exploring ant hills) and eat (he loves to take his food outside and just enjoy the air... rain or shine.  :)

(Yes, he split a hole in his jeans the first day he wore them, and yes, he has taken to Aiden's frozen plain waffle tendency...)