..The Virklers..: Raw

I'm back.

Sorta.

There are still random boxes scattered here and there, but I think all the essentials have been unpacked. Not necessarily organized, but unpacked. And my mind is absent. Not the kind of absent where you could sit down at the computer and get lost amongst blogs, facebook, news, email, etc. for hours. I don't think my brain has been able to process like that since we came here. I would say it's been refreshing to not be connected to the world except via phone (when it is around), but I think I'm too overwhelmed to notice.

Joel started his fellowship today. So the countdown has begun for when we can move again.

Yes, I've already started counting. I'd give you a number, but I can't yet, as I don't have an exact day we will be moving away.

Does that give you an idea how I'm doing??

Lots of people have been asking how I'm doing. I'm hoping that everyone who asks is sending up a little prayer to God at the same time. I figure many of them are, because I know I'm surviving off of them right now.

Raw.

That's how I've felt for the past 9 days. Why 9 days? Well, Joel's parents were with us from Wednesday afternoon (the movers came the previous evening to unload the truck) until Friday morning. It still seemed surreal, just lots of productivity (I had more productivity in those three days then I did the whole past week...). And then Saturday came. And our church search began.

And I got a glimpse of how broken I think I will become before God's done with me here.

What do you think of when you think of the word raw?

Two things came to my mind.

First, I thought of what happens when you get a really bad burn, or your skin gets chaffed and becomes raw. You are unprotected. And it is painful. It is not an instant pain that goes away after a little bit, but one that just lingers, letting you know it is there, constantly reminding you of it's presence.

Second, I think of raw produce, nuts, etc etc. They are unprocessed, unrefined.

I think both describe me quite well at this transition of my life. I've mentioned it before, and I know it will not be the last time I mention it, but I hate change. I really can't handle it. I love the status quo, and have never had an adventuresome spirit. That's probably one of the reasons God had me marry my husband-- he can do all those things and I can just sit on the sideline, thankful that it isn't me. ;) So although many of you have told me you think it would be fun to experience something else for a year, I can't quite agree. Yes, I don't mind new experiences, but not year-long ones. For me it's been a painful process, as I realize how protected I was in my environment in Michigan (and everywhere else we lived), from the hospital setting to our church family.

But the second definition I mentioned is how I feel God is looking at me. He wants to refine and purify me. He wants to remind me of all the blessings He bestows on us, and to rely on Him when He is all my family has left. So although it's painful, and I feel like our church quest is a bit like throwing darts on a map and seeing where they fall (ok, ok, we are a bit more educated and selective then that), I pray that He will lead us to the church He has chosen for us soon, and that I can be open to the lessons He has chosen for me to learn in the process.

And less you think that I am fully wasting away out here, we have been blessed.

Just to name a few...

We have fully enjoyed having Daddy here for the past couple of weeks (even if he has been on the phone a bit). He has been trying to mark his territory in his ongoing battle with his father over who is the boys' "buddy". He's gotten a couple memberships for our family already, and
Most every store/restaurant I could ever need (except Trader Joe's and Costco) are only a couple miles away.
Our landlords are strong believers and
We are grateful for our fenced in yard already
My kitchen cabinet drawers don't drop sawdust every single time I open them
Though we think it has been quite humid, the summer, according to the locals, has been "quite mild" and
The boys have been delighted that it has rained the majority of days we've lived here
Danya is out here with us. And Liam has already enjoyed a sleepover at his "Auntie Danya's" house
We've been reminded that there is no set stereotype for a Christian.

Some of you have been wondering about what churches we have come across already.

It's a bit difficult, because they all tend to have services around the same time, so we've only had the chance to go to four (one Baptist church when we were scouting out rentals, two nondenominationals and one Church of Christ). I'm hoping to find something that can be a suitable home soon, as I feel bad taking the boys to different places every Sunday. And unless the doctrine is unsound, I'd like to attend a church at least a few times before ruling it off the list. I'll give just a bit of my mind below, but am hopeful that I'm not sounding judgmental or disrespectful. All the services that we have attended have had sound teaching, and though we may agree or disagree with many aspects of them, it is not to say that we don't think that believers could be found in each one.

On Saturday evenings we've been going to the church that is closest to us, a mega church with multiple campuses and service times. Although we go to a smaller service, it will probably still not be our primary church as I feel like I'm at a concert during the worship portion (as in my chest hurts from the pounding of the drums, and you can't hear people sing because of their great speaker system ;) They are well prepared and it is very systematic there, but we felt like it was a bit cold and impersonal. The other nondenominational church also used a band, but you could still hear the lyrics being sung, and a hymn was incorporated with the worship. People were more friendly, but Aiden couldn't figure out why out of at least 4 buildings, none of them housed the lunch room... ;)

Since Danya was raised Church of Christ, and several of you have noted the similarities between the AC church and the CoC, we checked out one of those this past Sunday. They did sing acapella, but that was the only shared characteristic with this particular location. We enjoyed it, though I'm not sure whether I enjoyed it more for the cultural experience of our family and Danya being the only non-African Americans in the church, or because it was a place we'd like to go to permanently while we live here. I feel like God was almost looking at us complaining about the music in the other churches so he decided to humor us with the opposite. We could feel the Spirit in the church, and the people were so warm, lingering for quite a while afterwards to meet us.

The churches we have researched or attended tend to not have weeknight services. Most of them have some type of nomenclature for "small groups" that meet during the week. I suspect that might be why people clear out after the service is over-- they get their fellowship fulfillment from this aspect of their church. But it has left us (or me) starved for Christian fellowship, and although we are in an area rich in Christian heritage (so we've heard), I feel somewhat in a desert. (Thank goodness BSF is beginning in a month). We are unable to join these small groups until after we find a church.

Now you are probably thinking I must be picky... and I am. :)

Ideally I would like to find a church that, although it might cater to the modern times, still respects and honors the old forms of worship. I would like a church that has sound doctrine, and a leader that is led by the Spirit, expounds upon Scripture, acknowledges his humanity and does not strive to gain attention through various antics. I want a church that will assist us in teaching our children the Word, and I would love it if it allowed our children to be with us for a portion of the time so they do not grow so accustomed to stimulation from their classrooms that they can't handle a service once we return to the AC church.

Yes, I'm opinionated. And I may not get what I want. But if you know of a church that might fit the bill, feel free to let me know ;)

And if you've survived all of my humorous depression, you deserve some type of reward. But all I can currently offer is pictures (or a book e-party, since in my NC isolation I became an Usborne consultant, haha)...

so since I'm not all doom and gloom...

Our new home.
Come and visit... it's really not as bad as I've made it out to be ;)

After flying in from Hawaii we drove straight to NC.
Hard to see, but there were three coolers in the back of the car. I was not quite willing to give up my hard work (homemade applesauce and put up fruit). You like our ghetto cooler (Styrofoam taped together with duct tape)?? Look suspicious?! The cop in Virginia sure thought so...

Liam unpacked the important things in life...

It's faces like these that have kept me alive out here.

When the UPS guy brought by these boxes, he was swarmed. They had been waiting all ~~day~~ week for their new bunk bed (my husband was able to buy one online for the just a bit more then the price we would've paid used on Craigslist... score one for us!) :)