I thought...

I thought North Carolina was God's way of stretching me beyond my comfort zone, forcing me to realize and truly live out the fact that the church is the body of Christ, not a building or a location, and that the body of Christ is larger then my AC family... that there are many forms and ways to worship our Lord God, and though different and sometimes uncomfortable from how we are raised, they nevertheless praise His name.

I thought God was stretching me, when he picked North Carolina, because not only could we not attend a church we loved and were familiar with, but we were separated (by a mountain range!) from family.

I thought God was stretching me when He did not allow practically any doors to be opened in the state of AZ, and none in Phoenix, for Joel to work at in the near future. And the few He did allow, He either allowed to shut again (even against my pushing), or revealed quite plainly that they were not viable options for our family. Nor was there anything opened in Michigan where I wouldn't have minded returning to live.

I thought God was stretching me, when during all this time, I was to begin homeschooling my child... me, the one that has always loathed teaching (and successfully avoided ever having to do it on Sundays), am quite impatient, very unimaginative and neither organized nor disciplined.

I thought God had stretched me enough.

Apparently not.

Apparently, He wants me to realize that as a member of the body of Christ, I can not be apart from the others, and still be healthy. I am dependent upon the body for sustenance and life, prayer, encouragement and help.

Apparently, He wants to show me that whether pride or fear, they are both sin, and I need to get over my reluctance of asking for help, no matter how uncomfortable it may be with people I do not know well.

Apparently, He wants me to realize, that despite our complaints about the Bots, and that we had to pay for our health insurance despite our initial contract promises, our healthcare coverage was truly an immense blessing.

Apparently, He loves me and knows I can, with His grace, handle more, even with no family around.

Apparently, He wants me to check out the OB wing of a new hospital/birthing center, and must have had a smile on His face when I sent all my baby stuff down to Miranda's basement, because we were not going to need it in North Carolina.

Oh my.

Apparently, His thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are His ways, my ways. And although it's difficult to swallow sometimes, we are thankful that we can be confident in the knowledge that His way is perfect, knowing that the stretching is for our growth and maturity towards holiness. We feel blessed by this, and pray (and hope you will too!) that He continues to generously flow His grace our way. Because we could not live without it.