GNO... Part 2

Well, really, it wasn't a "night out".

And she has a very sketchy idea of fun.

But somehow she got into her head that us two (almost) legally blind half-Asians ought to take advantage of our Botsford insurance before it ended and get Lasik surgery.


Yeah....

....

... that sounds like loads of fun, right?!



Uh huh.

My thoughts exactly.



She got the idea Thursday night. Called and made us appointments Friday. I had the weekend to grow more grey hairs as I heard opinions from all sides of the spectrum. I left the ortho Lasik intimidation farewell party Sunday night telling everyone that I was not going to allow Valium and it's active metabolites to reek havoc on my system for the next several days (factoid: did you know it has a 43 hr half life and it's main active metabolite is over twice that??).  And I'd be getting two doses of that, because the one caveat with the insurance plan is they'd only cover one eye/day (you know, in case you go blind...).

Well... once again, it seems my patient God waited until 11:30 at night when I could no longer text people to ask for their opinions to chastise me and help me realize that even though I had prayed to Him, I had not listened for His voice. But in the stillness of the midnight solitude, He spoke.


At first it came through lyrics of a song, "randomly" popping into my head

 

I wait for You and my soul finds rest
In my selfishness, You show me grace

 

My hope is in You, Lord
All the day long
I won't be shaken by drought or storm
A peace that passes understanding is my song

along with the verses of Psalms 25 whispering gently to my soul.
Then, as I argued about the vague information about the risks and complications, the what-if's of provision for my family, he reminded me through the lyrics of another song

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
It's true, You are faithful, God You are faithful

Those and more thoughts like them slowly calmed my anxious heart, gave me the peace I needed and the assurance that this was His will for me, even if it was not mine. I was troubled that He never assured me that everything would be ok, only that He has promised to be faithful no matter what. In spite of what might happen.

And thus Monday and Tuesday morning, armed with my prayer warrior friends sending texts and Scripture, such as

Psalms 29:11

The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.

I went in and had eye surgery.

And it was not pretty.

That valium I was so worried about? Well, let's just say even though I haven't had so much as a Tylenol in the past 5 1/2 years... a 10mg dosage didn't have any effect on me. Well, besides a migraine and stomach cramps. So I was a bit nervous. Or a lot nervous. If you think I exaggerate, ask the doctor :)

I did have a stress ball. That didn't really help either.

Valium had the opposite effect on Danya. She doesn't remember too much of the surgery. They had to continually try to keep her awake. I can tell you what they did from beginning to end. And apparently, along with my neurons firing away, I couldn't get my head to stay still when I saw the suction coming at my eye the second surgery. So I look a bit scary. Enough so, that although my kids aren't scared of me, they do continuously pray that God will make my red eye white again. :)

But I did go from 20/300 to 20/20.

As we drove away from the center after my first surgery, the first song that was playing on the radio was yet another gentle reminder from God...

Remember when

Your hope is lost and faith is shaken

Remember when

You wonder if you're gonna make it

There's a hand stretched out

Through your deepest doubt

 

We can't pretend

To see the ending or what's coming up ahead

Don't know the story of tomorrow

But we can stay close

To the One who knows

 

We can trust our God

He knows what He's doing

Though it might hurt now

We won't be ruined

 

We believe

There is purpose, there is meaning

In everything

We surrender to His leading

He wants nothing more

Than to have us close

 

We can trust our God, always, always

He is with us, He is with us, always, always

God is good. And it's amazing the wisdom He has bestowed upon the depraved that we might have the potential to do such remarkable things. The doctors kept talking about how awesome the eye's healing capabilities are, that the epithelial flap is healed so soon after it reconnects with the cornea and without the need of stitches.

Yes the eye is awesome. But so is it's Creator.

What a mighty God we serve.


I'm thankful for this remarkable improvement in vision (and pray for no infections). It is weird, because I keep thinking I need to take out my contacts and allow my eyes to "breathe". And then I remember I'm not wearing contacts anymore. But I'm even more thankful for this new level in vision I have come to in my faith.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

 

 

Post surgery on our second eyes.

The closest you will get of seeing my subconjunctival hemorrhage unless you see me in person.
Good thing for my Asian eye smile... it's the right eye- can you tell ;)

Joel headed to South Bend for an interview and his sister Rachel was gracious enough to watch the older two.
Callum on the other hand had the privilege of coming with us and showing us his lasik-free vision ;) 

 

(I didn't copy the song lyrics verbatim, in case anyone was wondering... Just the parts that I distinctly remember hearing)